Log #15: Valentine’s Day, the day to be alone rather then lonely

This day that is coming up tomorrow is rather annoying to me, Valentine’s Day!  This day might involve candy though it is the anti-Halloween!  That being  said this a day where the alone will feel lonely and rather unlucky about life!  Well I rather be alone then to be lonely in a relationship where the idiot will not appreciate  me or will treat me like shit!   That being said is it a bad day for single Pringles or is not!    That being it does not have to be a bad day at all if you are single!    Or rather be alone!   That being said I would rather be alone then so many times be abused, unappreciated or cheated on by some bastard who will never understand what it takes to understand a woman or a female!  That being, I had to Neanderthals in my life, Bryan Varner and someone other idiots who literally turned me off from dating and men!  That said said bryan Varner was someone who was rather criminal who said he was a terrorist and a serial killer after bring up with me on my birthday, one year!  Then there was another guy after that that I try to respect  though he was constantly cheating on me and taking my money from me!  Though I healed from that aspect of that, we are friends -best friends.   

This should be a day about amity and I believe that word is friendship!  That being said I would rather not have romantic relationships as this would complicate my life more  than it needs to be!  That being said i even tried dating woman though this did not turn out as well as I hoped this resulted in me being lied to and having to make yet another Facebook account!  This was horrible for me, that being I have zero tolerance to lying.  So I would rather be alone, and practice self love and self care then to think of it as being  lonely and rather annoying!  That being said I found that romance though great books are a source of real life trauma, and not love!  That being said if I want comorbid and even more complex PTSD , or a personality disorder then I would continue to date others, and be a door Matt!  And I am too Amazonian for this shit, I was not bred to be a doormat or a spineless ameba that would allow abuse to happen to them  in one form or another!   So will I ever get into another relationship again, no because I was a beaten dog would by there culture will bite back!   I rather note bite back either so I will not put my self in a position where I will have to be skiddish our attacking others.   

So why this mucking day tomorrow (or today) if you are in the next time zone!  That being I doing think we need a day to high light the thing that is elusive and I think would better off being elusive!  Instead call this day amity day, as in friendship as the only healing relationship is friendship and the most destructive is romantic/sexual relationships!  This being I think romance belongs in story books and not in real life.  Take it from me when you are with you self or alone , you are not that lonely if you care and love you self!  Because if you can’t love your self then what matter does it mean to be around others!   This day rather drive me insane and i would rather see this day turned to amity day instead if a love day.  Now some of you might. Yah or nah this idea, it really depends on weather you have been abused repeatedly like me or not!